Wednesday, August 5, 2009
While I was at INSIGHT, I dealt with an almost constant level of stress and there was always a deadline to meet, there was always something to write, read, or answer. I almost feel like while I was there, I forgot why I was doing it. In the Spring, I was faced with a final. We had 4 midterms and 4 finals. Each one was challenging and stressful. As I was walking to one of the finals, I felt so burdened. I silently cried out to God, asking Him to give me peace. As I turned the corner to enter the building, a beautiful butterfly flew in front of me, leading me to the door. At once, my heart slowed from the pounding. I caught my breathe. I felt God walking next to me, leading me through the door. I got through the test. I got a good grade.
That butterfly appeared a few more times, once as I was about to get my grade, and other opportune moments when I felt I was about the break and crumble to the ground beyond repair. To think that God cares for me, and loves me so much that He would send me a sign of peace through that butterfly.
Yesterday I sent in an application to a missions organization called Compasio. I had been praying that God would show me what would come next, and I felt a strong call to go overseas in January. Each organization I was interested in didn't seem to be quite the right fit. I heard about Compasio and felt an immediate draw towards it. So I filled out the forms and sent them in. I'm not sure if I'll be accepted or not, but let me tell you what happened today.
I was walking to my office here in Modesto, thinking about going to Thailand, and a butterfly flew past me, lingered for a while, then continued on his way.
I remembered that no matter what happens, God has got me. He is always by my side, walking with me every step of the way. I don't know if I will be serving with Compasio, or YWAM, or Frontiers, but no matter what, I am going to be serving God, and that is all that matters.