Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Stand

Our last event of the summer was Beach Day. over 120 people packed into SUV's and vans to drive 2 1/2 hours to Santa Cruz. We had a day of fun in the sun, and as the day came to a close, we sang a few worship songs together. I may have been feeling somewhat emotional already due to the fact that this was my last event with Modesto Covenant, but I wasn't aware of how God was going to work to show me one last reminder that He is always present. The Students were shouting out songs that they would like to hear, and one student said, "let's sing the stand!". Now, The Stand is one of my favorite worship songs, and we were sitting on the beach with the sun setting in front of us, prime time to worship God.

Scott began to strum the chords and as we neared the chorus, I opened my eyes to find that all of the students were standing, with their arms raised high above them, worshiping the Lord unashamed. Instantly the tears flowed. I knew that God had done something amazing this summer. Even if sometimes it felt like I wasn't doing such a great job of showing Christ's love, they were there in the moment worshiping Jesus 100%. It was such a gift, such a joy, just what a youth worker dreams of their students to do.

Lord, thank you for the opportunity to serve the high schoolers in Modesto. Thank you that I was able to speak of you and what you're doing. Be with them God, show them how much you love them. Replace the fear of standing for you with joy and pride. Protect them this year, let them fall more in love with you so they can be a light to the lost.

I'll stand, with arms high, and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours.
All I am is yours.
What can I say? And what can I do?
But offer this heart completely to you...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


While I was at INSIGHT, I dealt with an almost constant level of stress and there was always a deadline to meet, there was always something to write, read, or answer. I almost feel like while I was there, I forgot why I was doing it. In the Spring, I was faced with a final. We had 4 midterms and 4 finals. Each one was challenging and stressful. As I was walking to one of the finals, I felt so burdened. I silently cried out to God, asking Him to give me peace. As I turned the corner to enter the building, a beautiful butterfly flew in front of me, leading me to the door. At once, my heart slowed from the pounding. I caught my breathe. I felt God walking next to me, leading me through the door. I got through the test. I got a good grade.

That butterfly appeared a few more times, once as I was about to get my grade, and other opportune moments when I felt I was about the break and crumble to the ground beyond repair. To think that God cares for me, and loves me so much that He would send me a sign of peace through that butterfly.

Yesterday I sent in an application to a missions organization called Compasio. I had been praying that God would show me what would come next, and I felt a strong call to go overseas in January. Each organization I was interested in didn't seem to be quite the right fit. I heard about Compasio and felt an immediate draw towards it. So I filled out the forms and sent them in. I'm not sure if I'll be accepted or not, but let me tell you what happened today.

I was walking to my office here in Modesto, thinking about going to Thailand, and a butterfly flew past me, lingered for a while, then continued on his way.

I remembered that no matter what happens, God has got me. He is always by my side, walking with me every step of the way. I don't know if I will be serving with Compasio, or YWAM, or Frontiers, but no matter what, I am going to be serving God, and that is all that matters.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

What's next?

Okay so I did a horrible job of posting while at school. We can all accept the fact and move forward. I learned SO MUCH at INSIGHT. It was by far the best year of my life. However, if you had asked me while I was there, I would probably talk your ear off about how much reading we had, how I was about to die from stress, and I probably would have to dash off without warning to write outlines for an upcoming test or paper. Overall though, Wow. The friendships I made, the things I learned, the people I met, how my life changed: irreplaceable. If you have a high school or college student who doesn't know what to do next then send em to Insight!

As I type, I am sitting in Modesto, California. Also known by the alias "armpit of California". Why am I here? I was offered an internship by Modesto Covenant Church, and it has been such a great summer! I work with the high school students, teaching, planning events, hanging out with kids, etc. My time here has gone by so quickly, but I have so many experiences and stories under my belt.

I'm still working on what will be next, I promise I will let you know as soon as plans are finalized. I don't know for sure what will happen, but I know that I am at peace, because my Father in Heaven is going to take care of me every step of the way.

Thanks for reading!