story time

The other day I went to the safehouse to keep 2 year old Baby company

Isn't he cute?
We found ourselves in the backyard. He toddled over to a pile of coconuts which had fallen from the tree. "Ao kap" he said, handing me the small fruit. "okay." I replied, not knowing what I was getting into. Have you ever opened a coconut fallen fresh from the tree? I haven't.

I got a big knife, borderline machete, from the kitchen. I sat on the ground and proceeded to whack at the solid outer shell. Thirty minutes later I began to peel away the 2 inches of white husk that surrounds the coconut. Twenty minutes later, I arrived at the cement like brown shell. It was hard as rock. I feebly knocked the machete/knife on it.

"Ao Maaa!!! (I want it!)" Baby exclaimed.

"Mai gaing (it's not good!)" I replied, shaking the coconut next to my ear.

"Gaing Gaing! (it's good! it's good!)" He was 100% ready to eat this fruit. He was even armed with a handful of spoons.

"Jing lao? (really?)" Was I seriously taking the opinion and expertise regarding the ripeness of fruit from a two year old? I whacked halfheartedly again. Nothing.But then, I remembered sitting with my dad as he cut open coconuts for us as kids. "See this?" He would say, "This is the eye of the coconut. you have to cut it like this..." his voice echoed in my head as I found the eye of the coconut and stuck the tip of the knife in. With a mighty whack, I cracked the coconut. Baby cheered.

We sat on the cement eating the sweet coconut meat (by the way this type of coconut has no juice). I felt like I had really accomplished something. It had taken an hour and a half, I was drenched in sweat, and my hands were itching like crazy, but I had done it. Not bad for my first time... not bad for a white girl.

The riots in Bangkok have been getting worse, and unfortunately, they have begun to travel upwards to Chiang Mai. I had been reading news articles and watching videos about the situation, which probably made me paranoid, especially with what happened later that night. I got onto my motorbike at 6:50 to go to a friend's house. We were going to meet at 7:00 to study Burmese. I thought it was odd that there were so many police men out directing traffic. Besides that, there were Thai flags galore. As i turned onto a road that would lead to the highway, I slowed down. There were about 50 motorbikes stopped, engines off. I stopped too and the police man guarding the highway entrance signaled for me to turn my engine off as well. Not gonna lie, I was scared. I had no idea what was going on and I couldn't understand or ask anyone what was happening. We say for about 15 minutes, the number of stopped bikes increasing. Across the highway I would see people waiting as well. A police car sped past. I had a clear view of the road and there was no one on it. I texted my friend to let her know I'd be late. She texted back saying "relax, the Princess is in town."

Ahhh.... I remembered seeing a huge picture of a woman sitting in front of the police station. I settled down, ready to wait, and it was then that I had this conversation with the woman on the motorbike next to me.

Woman (in Thai): I have ice on my bike! I have to go!

Me (in Burmese, I'm still working on what language comes out of my mouth when) Oh yes... that's right.

Woman (in Thai) The ice is melting!

Me (in Thai.) I'm sorry. Would you like some gum?

Woman (in Thai) What is it?

Me (in English) Gum.

Woman (In Thai) yes... okay. Thank you.

Me (in Thai) no problem.

After a grand total of 30 minutes, 2 police cars a BMW another police car, a Mercedes bens, yet another police car, a van, a toyota, a song tao full of armed soldiers, another van, and two more police cars sped past. All us common folk started our engines and continued on our way.

The Princess of Thailand is staying at the hotel down the street from my house. As I drove home, I saw a plethora of police men patrolling the high way and area in front of the hotel. I don't know, if I were here I would pull the princess and the pauper thing.

So. that's my interesting happenings of late.

Oh, and I got my computer back, fixed.

why does nothing go as planned

I had a really great blog written and ready to be posted.

I had stayed up the night before and was late to dinner because I was so inspired. I saved it in a Microsoft Word document planning to post it the next morning.

As I booted up my computer and copied the text, my computer suddenly went blank.

I pushed the power button, and was faced with an overwhelming amount of scary numbers and letters. "uh.... help." I feebly called. No one in the office responded.

So. I had a great blog. It was inspiring and hilarious. It was informative and fun.

I hope that you'll be able to read it someday.

Until then, my laptop is in the shop and I'm clinging to the hope that the hard drive and my files can be saved. Here's to looking for a new computer.

...more later.

Problems

When I think about my problems I think "Oh great. I'm almost out of money". Or "Shoot, I'm almost out of gas. Now I have to go out of my way to get to the gas station." Sometimes I think "Man... what am I going to do next year? There's so many options. Dang. I'll have to decide about that sometime." But when it comes down to it, these things aren't really problems. I can easily withdraw money from the ATM (even though they charge 150 bot fee beside the point though). I have a motorbike to put gas in. I don't have to pedal a bike around town in hundred degree weather. As for next year, I have choices. I have endless choices.

I met a girl today who has problems. Real problems.

She lives in a garbage dump. She shares a bamboo platform 8 feet long and 5 feet wide with her three sisters and grandmother. A ripped tarp covers the top. It sits on piles of garbage in a city of garbage.

She is 16 years old.

Both of her parents died when she was young. She's been raising her two sisters and taking care of her grandmother since then.

Her head is shaved, probably to make it easier to get rid of lice that stick to her hair as she digs through the garbage desperate to find anything valuable to bring home.

My friend Sia and I sat with her and we talked. I listened. We laughed together. Sia turned to me with tears in her eyes "I want to do something for these girls. I want to just be able to come and sit. To talk with them about life." I silently agreed.

My problems suddenly seemed so small compared to this brave girl's life. She must be on constant guard. She lives in a dangerous place. She is young and beautiful- a target for sex traffickers. She's Burmese- automatically considered of less worth. She digs through the garbage for a living- worth even less.

Yet, as I watched her talk to her grandmother and change out of her filthy pants and into a skirt, I saw hope. She handed 20 bot to her sister. Probably what she earned that day, less than 1 American dollar. She had done her job. They would make it one more day.

The fact that this is happening is, I believe, a problem.

Vietnam in a Coconut shell

I hate to think that something I’ve done is a waste. If things were my way, I would always learn something from the experiences I’ve had. I think that more than any other feeling or experience, I was determined to have something good come from my trip to Vietnam. It was on a quite street in Nha Trang that I forced myself stop and figure out why I had been feeling so down, so unlike myself. I had a revelation that night, and here’s what it was.

I realized that I had been so depressed about my situation because I was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable with the language, uncomfortable being away from the familiar surroundings of Mae Sot, uncomfortable because I had no companionship, and uncomfortable because I was the only white person. As I sat there, it dawned on me that as a follower of Christ, I’m not really called to a life of comfort. I’ve been called to follow Jesus. As I reflected on this thought, I realized that Jesus didn’t live much of a comfortable life. During his ministry, he didn’t even have a place to call home. He didn’t have an apartment he could go home to at the end of the day. I doubt he even had a suitcase to carry his toothbrush in. It seems like if I have been called to be like Jesus, then I should be willing to live this kind of lifestyle. It was then that the blinders were taken off my eyes and I saw how selfish I had been. Instead of seeing what I could be doing to be a blessing to the people around me, I was self absorbed in my own pity party. From that point on, I saw things differently and I appreciated the country that Vietnam is. I also appreciated Thailand and what I have here.

To come back to Thailand was like taking a breath of fresh air. I felt so renewed, so refreshed for what is being done here. I also felt, without a doubt, that this is where God wants me to be right now. I think that has to be one of the best feelings in the world, to know that you are where God wants you to be. I’m thankful for the learning experience I had in Vietnam. I’m thankful that I got to spend time with my grandfather, who is such a cool guy by the way. But… I am so relieved to be back home. Here’s to the next nine months! Use me where you want me God. I am all yours.

Now… about that trip to the motherland.

Random happenings and observations: a compilation

• Guaranteed, everyone will have a tooth pick in their mouths after every meal. Guaranteed.
• There is the constant sound of honking and to step onto the street is to risk your life.
• The iced coffee is 1/5 coffee, 2/5 sweetened condensed milk, and 2/5 ice. Delicious.
• The food is out of this world spectacular.
• Double dipping is not an issue. Everyone has a bowl of rice and chopsticks and shares the food in the middle.
• You’re chased down the street by people trying to sell postcards, gum, and lottery tickets.
• The hotel reception keeps your passport (is this normal?) and you see them entering the information onto a public computer.
• It is completely normal to see a guy on a motorbike with a 35 lb. fish strapped to the back.
• Anyone can be a donglionaire. 19,000 dong= 1 USD
• If you listen carefully, you might pick up on your tour guide discussing different tasty meats including beef, pork, and dog
• At a rest stop, my uncle bought ice cream and French bread and made me an ice cream sandwich
• You’re caught off guard when you spot someone taller than 5’5. They literally tower over everyone else
• No shirt, no shoes, no pants, no problem. Walking around in boxers is completely normal.
• I walked into my aunt’s house and she immediately handed me a whole, chilled coconut with a straw sticking out the top. That’s hospitality.
• They NEVER make it till your order it.
• I think we drove past a Nazi graveyard at one point. Each tombstone had a swastika on it.
• I saw a kid get hit by a motorbike when playing in the ocean. Yeah. Never seen anything like that before. Don’t worry. He’s okay.
• Red lights are taken to mean yield signs here apparently.
• What? You have to pee? Oh no problem, just pullover to the side of the road. Everyone does it.
• Our bus had a microphone, so the tour guide had a little girl sit in front singing Vietnamese children’s songs while 14 adults clapped along, applauded enthusiastically, and shouted out requests.

My little nephew

Never felt closer to God then when I'm basking in his creation

Love the fruit in Vietnam :)

My grandfather and I caught in a slightly awkward photo moment

three cousins: Ngoan, Ly, and Trang

I accidentally got lice in Vietnam :/

I hope this doesn't count as ancestor worship

thanks for reading!

7 days

I cannot believe how quickly time has gone by. It will be two months in Thailand this week. I must admit that the time seemed to drag on forever, but when I hit the one month mark I feel like the fast forward button has been pushed. The weeks are over before I know it. I have somewhat of a set schedule, I work at various houses during the week. I thought I would give you a look into my life to see what my daily life is like...

Monday.

Baby House day. I don't think there is anything that will lift your spirits more than spending the day hanging out with babies. The Compasio babies are being taken care of temporarily until their mothers are released from prison. I usually arrive around 8:00 am and my day consists of playing with the kids, feeding them lunch, taking a nap, playing some more, feeding them dinner, bathing them, and getting them ready for bed. That nap is a lifesaver. Running after four 2-3 year olds and a six year old can be tiring.

Tuesday.

(Just the white girls L-R Jade, Steph, Sia, Mila, Me, Ashlee, Kelly)

We have our staff meeting and I usually hang around the office writing or doing whatever needs to be done.

Wednesday.

I help at the drop in center where we get to spend time with the street kids of Mae Sot. We cook breakfast, watch cartoons, and do arts and crafts. We try to go out to the street a few times a week to spend time with them as well :)

Thursday.

Compasio has recently begun building relationship with the families who live in the garbage dump. Every Thursday we visit to do basic medical treatment, coloring, laughing, and just being friends.

Friday.

Usually Friday is market day and I will go with the Thai staff to buy large quantities of eggs, fruit, vegetables, rice, and Burmese fish paste (something I could live without smelling) which we deliver to the Compasio houses as well as to some families that we support. I also write up some stories and edit some photos I've taken over the week which I send to our main office in Chiang Mai. That is the media part of my job :)

Saturday.

My day off. Never the same. Always goes by too quickly.

Sunday.

I will work at either the baby house or safe house in the morning so that the Thai staff can attend Church. I go to an English speaking house Church in the afternoon and in the evening I attend Burmese Church.

I am studying Burmese 2-3 hours a day, everyday. I meet with my teacher for an hour 5 days a week and I like to practice reading, writing, and speaking on my own and with Burmese friends.

So! There you have it, a glance into my life, however, things change every day, but I would not want it any other way :)

Be Blessed.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever... I will tell of all your deeds.

Burma

Burma is so close. Yet it is so far. If only I could reach out and touch it. If only I could reach in and help those who so desperately need it.

March 14. Global day of prayer for Burma. I want everyone to be praying today. But, not just today. Everyday. Is that selfish? No. I believe it is our duty.

My friends, before I was blind. I was unaware of the horrors Satan brings. Now I see that he is a trickster; he is a bearer of rotten, selfish, deathly gifts. I refuse to let him take my joy. Please don't mind that I'm processing this in writing. I'm getting this off of my shoulders. This is what blogs are for right?

The Karen, Chin, and Arakan people are suffering. Their government has deemed them unclean, and they are attempting to wipe out these rich cultures and beautiful people. The Burma army has entered peaceful villages and destroyed them. They move about the country burning, raping, torturing, and enslaving the defenseless. It is a war against civilians. This is in my front yard.

River between Burma and Thailand

Today in church we were having a time of intercessory prayer for Burma, and we watched a movie made by the Free Burma Rangers (a group that helps to bring supplies and relief into dangerous parts of Burma) and they showed footage of the people, the injury, and the land. They interviewed one man who was talking about how he viewed the Burmese army. He said that at first he hated them. He despised them. They had killed his brother, his mother, and his father. They had burned down his village and he had nothing because of them. Yet, as God worked in his life, he grew to love them and forgive them. He now has compassion on the Burmese soldiers. When he looks at them, he sees a human being that God loves and who Jesus died for. I wish that I could be so strong and devoted as to see my enemies in that light.

Praise God that He has replaced bitterness and hatred with love and compassion.

Please pray for the conflict in Burma. Pray for the people and for the leaders. Pray that there would be intercession and peace. Personally, I pray that God will use me in this time. My heart has been burdened for these people who are undergoing the unthinkable, and I am open to the Spirit leading me to where I am most needed.

This Karen boy lives in a refugee camp and is able to attend school

for more information visit Pray for Burma.

Thank you for being part of my journey.

relief

We hopped onto our motorbikes, baskets full of basic medical equipment, colored pencils, and paper. As we drove along the bumpy road, we prepared ourselves mentally for what was coming. As we went around the last bend in the road, we saw the heaps of garbage. I felt my heart jump, but I scolded myself for being so anxious. As we drove past the clusters of people, we were greeted with smiles from the men and woman and children ran after us.

Welcome to the Mae Sot garbage dump. Compasio has been building relationships with the families who live here. These people are often exposed by westerners who come in, photograph and video tape their circumstances only to leave, sometimes even without saying a word. Compasio simply comes into the lives of the people to talk to them, spend time listening, and to be a reminder that they have friends, they have advocates.

As we left the dump, we looked back and saw that the kids were still intrigued by the paper airplanes they had been taught to make and we knew that the origami cranes they had folded would be placed in a safe places to be admired by all. But, more than any physical objects we left behind, we knew that they knew we would be back again next week, and the week after that, and the week after that. Because that is the heart of relief, not just bringing materials to save someone physically, but to bring a relationship into bloom, because as Allan Brown says “We’re not galloping in as their saviors but we’re there to sit with them and to get to know them. They’re our equals; they’re our brothers and sisters. Relief and development are tools that we use as we go out and love people. When the rice is gone or the clothes are worn out, that’s the stuff that lasts, that’s what changes lives.”

Burmese

Since I'm working in a city which is predominantly Burmese, I have decided to study Burmese before I try to tackle Thai. There are very few Burmese books or online tutors, which made it difficult for me to start learning in the States. Since I've arrived here, I've been picking up so many Thai words and phrases that it seemed unlikely I would be able to learn Burmese first. However, things have changed and I have started taking lessons from a friend. Hin Bai is a newly married, young, beautiful, and Godly Burmese woman that I met through my friends here at Compasio. She speaks English quite well and is such a gifted teacher.

I just finished my second lesson with her, in which I learned to construct small sentences. She is teaching me to write, read, and speak. We meet for one hour each day, so, I am well on my way to become a Burmese speaker. Easier said than done though. Have you seen their letters or ever heard a Burmese conversation?

I would appreciate prayer as I begin to climb this unpaved mountain.

:)